Survival Skills Start Early on in One’s Life

Category: Stories

Good Morning Friends,

When children learn they have No Value & No Worth & are Unlovable; they develop various Survival Skills in effort to ‘Earn’ Love & Acceptance.

Survival Skills may include but are not limited to:
*Based on my experiences.
___
Not expressing Thoughts.
Not questioning Other’s Thoughts & Beliefs & Feelings.
Not expressing & sharing Feelings.
Lack of trust in others & relationships.
Interdependence (sense of feeling alone/alienated/lonely).
Neediness to be Seen & Cared for & Kindness & Love—No healthy boundaries understanding & established.
Serving Others & their needs & wants (even if they conflict with inner intuition).
Disregarding one’s intuition.
Suppressing Thoughts & Feelings & Traumas.
Over achievers & perfectionists & obsessive compulsive actions/thoughts.
Self sabotage/self harm/exhaustion in efforts to please others.
Hyperventilate & highly sensitive to others behaviours & feelings.
Problem solver/parent role to care givers & younger siblings.
Exaggerated sense of responsibility for Other’s Feelings & extreme efforts to ensure other’s are feeling good/well/pleased.
Inability to ‘problem solve’ for oneself/over questioning & self judgment.
Never feeling Good & Worthy & Accomplished even if evidence is contradictory.
Stuck in the loop of dysfunction relationships.
Exhausted from over-doing/not recognizing body’s messages to take a break/slow down/recharge/self care.
Overwhelming sense of guilt & shame.
High tolerance for Abusive Treatment.
Seeking Self Worth externally to self.
Disconnect within self (body-mind-spirit/soul).
Disconnect from other’s/divine.
Chronic physical pain & illnesses (shallow & restricted breathing).
Mental health challenges (depression/anxiety/panic attacks/ADHD /CPTSD & PTSD/Disconnection & Dissociation & suicidal ideation & much more).
Addictions (prescriptions/alcohol/shopping/food).

Intention Healing is most messy & difficult & painful (emotionally & physically & spiritually & socially).
While, intentional healing presents a difficult journey (with no end/accomplishment date); the risks of remaining stuck within the ‘unhealed’ version of self is more hopeless (& in extreme, death seems the most ‘rational’ option).

___
It has taken me over 50+ years to learn & deeply understand the knowing that one can not heal in the same context/relationship/community that created the trauma(s) and/or compounded the severity/trauma.

I am suggesting, one must remove self from harmful situations/relationship (including, significant others & family members). I get how hard this may be, I was stuck within the loop of removing self from such relationships & feelings much guilt & shame and returning (hoping for change) to find self merely being re-traumatized. As a culture (& friends), important not to judge this & support understanding the challenges such a decision presented. You see, family & ‘good’ persons & respected persons & those in ‘trusted’ positions are capable & can do horrible things (abuse).

Within this self isolation, I began to ‘calm’ my overly anxious nerves system (started sleeping/feeling safer in my environment/less triggers).
Important to note, this is a temporary phase but one feels lonely & alone & lost & confused & strong drive to return to what was a ‘norm’.

Friends,
Give Yourself Permission To Do what You Intuitively Know is in Your best interest/for your greater good/for your physical & emotional & spiritual health.

Hugs.

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